Simple Mom Challange

  

Simple Mom  has started a challenge regarding cleaning the house.

I have decided to join because I always need an extra boost in motivation when it comes to cleaning.

Week 1 is focused on the closets.  This is difficult for me because I think I have weeded through my closet as much as I can, but we'll see about that.  We have a slit closet, which we had my clothes in one side and Shawn's in the other.  About a month ago we switched around so that both of our clothes were in one side and the other had the off season clothes.  The side that we combined our clothes in is easier to get to which made it much less frustrating for the person who had the unfortunate luck of having the hard to get to side.

But to accommodate both of our wardrobes we had to pare down quite a bit.  About 3 garbage bags full went to charity.  Who knew closets held so much.

This week will be my challenge to see if I can make the closet even more roomier.  I will also add the dresser drawers to the challenge.  I know I can get my drawers down to be a bit more sparse.  I seem to have an unexplainable attachment to t-shirts though.  I will post again on Friday with progress.

Todays Closets

Left side is all winter clothes, right side summer

dresser drawers

the less clutter we live in the less cluttered our lives are.

the less clutter we live in the less cluttered our lives are.  

A simple home, where everything has its place, multitasking on items
A clean home, where last minute dinner guests can show up without inducing stress
A calm home where mornings are spent enjoying time with the family and not rushing around to try to find a book or the keys to the car

These are my hopes for my home in 2011.

How I will be accomplishing this is by:

1. eliminating clutter in each room of the house
2. reorganizing each room to maximize the living space
3. get rid of unused items. The idea that I may use it some day does not work any longer
4. replace old, worn and inefficient items with newer more efficient items
5. donate old toys, clothing and unused items to shelters or charities
6. don’t buy anything new unless it has a specific purpose

Going through each room I am amazed to find things that at one point I thought were really important and now with my new way of thinking I realize that its only purpose was to collect dust.  My emotional attachment to certain objects have been eliminated due to the fact that it is just getting in the way.  An example of this is a very large stuffed animal that my sister brought home from Germany for me when I was in high school.  It was a mascot of the Olympics that year.  It is huge and I always thought is was very kind of my sister to stuff that animal in her suitcase and bring it all the way back for me.  Now 20 some odd years later I only see it as a matted fraying thing that I really cannot identify (cross the abominable snowman with a teddy bear) and cannot find a place for.  I also cannot think of any other person who would want this (my son was afraid of it when he was little).

Since I am the only one in our house at the moment that if gung ho on minimizing our clutter, I have to be respectful of the rest of my family.  To accomplish this I have bought more storage.  Shelving and bins that are attractive and have clean lines have replaced the mounds of clutter in each room.  The only rule I have imposed on my boys is that once the shelf or bin is full then they have to pare down their items to fit.  I will never be the person that own only 100 items and I am OK with that.  My minimalist goal it to be comfortable in my home with my family, to clean less and laugh more.  As long as everything has its place and is contained, that is the best I can hope for right now.

Yelling

One of my goals for this new year was to limit my yelling.  I am a yeller, I don’t think I have anger management issues, I think mostly it is frustration management issues.  

For this year, I have decided that each day as part of my journaling I will write the times that I yell, the reasoning behind it and if it was warranted or not.  If it was not necessary to yell, than I will write ways on which it could be handled differently.  Accountability is a key issue for me this year.

One of the most important reasons that I want to halt the yelling in my family is for my son.  I have accepted the fact when my son was born that every parent screws up their child in some way or another.  It is inevitable. But if you constantly look to yourself and try your best then the degree of screwed-upness may be limited.

Mothers yell out of anger, frustration or fear.  Yelling is natural and necessary at certain points in teaching your child the ways of the world. We yell at our child to keep him out of danger; ‘don’t run onto the road’ or ‘don’t touch the hot stove’. We yell at our child out of frustration; ‘how many times do I have to tell you to pick up your socks and not leave them on the living room couch’ or ‘why did you hit your cousin, hitting is never acceptable’.  We yell at our child out of anger; ‘you broke the glass because you were balancing it on your head, what did you think was going to happen’.

The trouble I have with yelling at my son is I feel like crap after, and I wonder what my yelling does to his self esteem and confidence.

My son is eleven.  I told him that this was going to be my goal for the year and that I would be writing in my journal all the times that I yelled and why.  I also told him that I needed his help.  To help out his mom, he has to let me know when I am yelling at him when he thinks it’s unnecessary.  I also said he has to be more aware of the things he does that cause me to yell at him.

Yesterday we had a discussion on yelling and I asked him how I was doing. His answer to me was very telling.  He said that I was doing great (said with sincerity and not his usual sarcasm) but after he asked me how he was doing.  That thoughtfulness was what made me think that my goal is helping him with his esteem.  He is actually thinking about his actions and how they effect others.

By writing in my journal the times that I have yelled, I have been noting a pattern.  Lately the yelling has centered around my son not respecting things, for example, he wrote on a computer mouse with a blue marker, a mouse that we only got 2 weeks prior.  It was the lack of respect that angered me and I was frustrated that we have had this similar argument before.  So writing it out I was able to see clearer and come up with solutions.  The thing that was the light bulb moment for me was realizing that he is very respectful to people and just needs to carry that over to objects and that I needed to tell him that.  So even though I yelled at him, we both got positive results from it, my realization him hearing that he does have good qualities, even if they are not pointed out immediately.

New Year New Goals

Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you land among the stars!

I hate New Years Resolutions.  To me it is a way for people to create opportunities to feel guilty about their shortcomings.  Every year I make a secret resolution to loose weight or create more or make more money and then by the time February rolls around I feel guilty because I have done nothing to help my resolution along or I have tried and I have failed miserably.

This year I am doing things differently.  I have created goals for the year, not a month, not something to accomplish immediately but an entire year to become a better me, one step at at time. Common sense right, so why didn't I think of it before?

I have set goals in the past, but I am fairly certain I did it all wrong.  I have set goals without any direction or a clear path to follow.  I basically set myself up for failure.

So I am going to go to school on goal setting.  Research not only how to accomplish my set goals but how to be productive in the goal setting.  Confusing right?  Not really.

So what have I found out?

Step 1 - Write every goal down in a place that is accessible.  For me this will be in my google documents. I can revisit and revise the goals as necessary on any computer.  I am a big fan of lists and bullet points. Each goal I have set has its own list of  bullet points within that I would like to accomplish and how to go about doing so. Organized and detailed is the way I like to be in most aspects of my life, why not goal setting.  Being as detailed as possible with the goal only makes it easier to to see things in a straight line and makes focus that much easier.  I have thought for a while about keeping a journal, thought that it would be a great discipline, but I never did start one mostly because I thought I would have nothing to write about.  Writing about my goals and the steps I am taking to achieve them, now that's a novel concept.

Step 2 -  Set up a time every day to focus on the goals at hand. I have chosen first thing in the morning.  Yes it means getting up earlier but it has been a wonderful way to start my day, with a cup of tea and my laptop.  I find it is like clearing out the cobwebs and starting each day fresh.  OK granted I have only done it two days in a row and this morning I had to convince myself that this was still a good idea, but in the end it was a great morning.  For each of my goals I write a paragraph on how I will work toward getting one step closer each day, it may be small or it may be a grand gesture.  At this point it really doesn't matter, as long as I can write one thing down every day to maintain focus and not give up.  That way set backs will not be disabling, just another step in a long line.


Step 3 - Forgive myself for the slip ups, set backs and a lack of motivation.  I am not running a race nor am I in competition with anyone else.  These goals were created by me and I can set my own rules and regulations.  Mistakes and mishaps are just a part of life, they are inevitable really if we want to life a full and complete life.

Each day is a new chance for moving forward. No longer will I wait in the wings for something to get me motivated to get going.

Wisdom Jar final week

I can't believe I actually got 365 quotes.  I don't think I have any duplicates, but the folks I am giving these to as a present will certainly let me know if I do, although there are some that I could have duplicated about 30 quotes and they never would have known.  I have a diverse group of friends.

Just getting over the stomach flue and I am leaving for Florida on the weekend.  It has been an insane week and month so far.  I am so looking forward to some down time.

1. people, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone. - Audrey Hepburn
2. At one point or another in our lives, we’re going to fail at something. The more risks you take, the more chances you’ll have at failing.  -Steve Kamb
3. Thomas Edison failed with 1,000 different filaments before finally perfecting the light bulb. Fortunately, he took each failure as “one more thing that didn’t work” so he could move onto the next thing. - Steve Kamb
4. “Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.” -Henry Wheeler Shaw
5. Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. -- Scott Adams
6. How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard
7. When things go wrong don't go with them. - Elvis Presley, rock idol
8. “We all live in suspense, from day to day, from hour to hour; in other words, we are the hero of our own story.” ~Mary McCarthy
9. A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. - John Lennon
10. The more I see the less I know for sure.  John Lennon
11. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.  ~Henry Ford
12. It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.  ~Edmund Hillary
13. The important thing is not to stop questioning.  ~Albert Einstein
14. The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.  ~Author Unknown
15. You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep.  ~Author Unknown
16. You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly.” Ronald Regan
17. Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst ~  Marcus Aurelius
18. Everyone is gifted - but some people never open their package - Author Unknown
19. Bad Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables. Spanish Proverb
20. If speaking is silver, then listening is gold. ~ Turkish Proverb
21. To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~ Unknown
22. Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow ~  Swedish Proverb
23. Trouble is to man what rust is to iron  ~ Yiddish Proverb
24. Fools and obstinate men make rich lawyers. ~ Spanish Proverb
25. Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet ~ African Proverb
26. I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

Wisdom Jar Week 13

This is the second last week of posting these.  We are deep into Hanukkah now and Christmas is approaching fast.  With the ongoing renovation in the house at the moment, I have not even begun to think of anything Christmas related.  What I need right now is a Christmas miracle.

The quotes at the end are from Katherine Hepburn.   I always admired her fierce independence.

1. It’s possible to stay alive for 99 years without every really having lived. Jason Kotecki
2. “Some people use one half their ingenuity to get into debt, and the other half to avoid  paying it.” -George Prentice
3. "What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every     age can be enchanting, provided you live within it." ~ Brigitte Bardot
4. “You’ve got a lot of choices.  If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ” ~Steven D. Woodhull
5. "Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind." 
 -Dr. Seuss
6. You will make all kinds of mistakes but as long as you are generous and true and fierce you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her.  - Winston Churchill
7. Have no fear of perfection - you’ll never reach it.  Salvador Dali
8. Courage is very important.  like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.  - Ruth Gordon
9. When it is dark enough, you can see the stars - Ralph Emerson
10. A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has. - Ralph Emerson
11. Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. - Rabbinical Saying
12. Truth stands the test of time, lies are soon exposed - proverb
13. stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice.  proverb
14. Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.  Pierre Trudeau
15. It is no use saying we are doing our best.  You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary - Winston Churchill
16. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm Winston Churchill
17. It’s not the hours you put in your work that counts, it’s the work you put in the hours. Sam Ewig
18. Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow - Ralph Emerson
19. Humor is also a way of saying something serious. T.S. Eliot
20. When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. - Rochefouchuld
21. Only the mediocre are always at their best. - Jean Giraudoux
22. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. -Katherine Hepburn
23. Enemies are so stimulating. Katherine Hepburn
24. If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead get married. - Katherine Hepburn
25. If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. - Katherine Hepburn
26. Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should just live next door and just visit now and then. - Katherine Hepburn

World Wildlife Fund

For a school project Sam had to do something charitable.  So he and his partners decided to hold a bake sale and raise money for the World Wildlife Fund.  http://wwf.ca/

Of course that did mean that I did most of the work in baking cookies and schlepping the kids around from the community centre home. But, Sam did ask the community centre if they could set up a table to sell baked goods and they extended a day when sales were not as good as they hoped on Thursday.

For three eleven year old boys the fundraiser went relatively well.  They raised 47 dollars in two days from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. and sold sugar cookies cut out in animal shapes of endangered species, chocolate cake that the boys made themselves, which actually tasted good, and hot chocolate.

I hope they get a good mark because they did work quite hard for their $50.00 (Shawn and I topped off the funds and made an online donation in their names).

I think this was a good exercise for grade six students and wish that the public school board would have events like this throughout the students history.  The lessons learned through charitable giving is invaluable.  For an eleven year old boy to think of others things beside himself is a big deal.

I also thought it was interesting that we were the only parents to show up to see how the boys were doing.  Involvement is your child’s education, no matter what they do is so important.  I am baffled by the lack of interest in most parents, and how they rely on the teachers to ensure the child is learning anything at all.

I am proud of those three boys and all the hard work they did to raise awareness and support for the World Wildlife Fund.

Wisdom Jar Week 12

While reading Unauthomate your finances by Adam Baker, http://manvsdebt.com/unautomate-your-finances/ I have taken quite a few of the quotes he has in the book. I highly recommend this ebook.

1. "If geek means you're willing to study things, and if you think science and engineering matter, I plead guilty. If your culture doesn't like geeks, you are in real trouble." -- Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.
2. “Enjoy today because the older you get, the faster time goes by.”
3. “It doesn’t work to leap a twenty-foot chasm in two ten foot jumps” -American Proverb
4. “Faith is a process of leaping into the abyss not on the basis of any certainty about where we shall land, but rather on the belief that we shall land.” -Carter Heyward
5. “All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.” -Henry Miller
6. “We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.” -Henry David Thoreau
7. “When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.” -Cynthia Heimel
8. “The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.” -John Burrough
9. ‘The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet.’ ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
10. Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street. - Grant L. Miller
11. “let the wild rumpus begin!” —  Maurice Sendak
12. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” -Albert Einstein
13. “A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark.” -Dante
14. “I am, as I’ve said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.”  - Billy Joel
15. “Without frugality none can be rich, and with it very few would be poor.” -Samuel Johnson
16. “My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.” -Errol Flynn
17. “The things you own end up owning you.” -Tyler Durden
18. “Even the smallest victory is never to be taken for granted. Each victory must be applauded...” -Audre Lorde
19. Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.  - Sally Koch
20. Even if you‘re on the right track, you‘ll get run over if you just sit there.  – Will Roger
21. “What’s a soup kitchen?” -Paris Hilton
22. “You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you.” -George Lucas
23. “Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.” -Anonymous
24. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” -Earl Wilson
25. “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” -Unknown
26. Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. - Corrie Ten Boom, author and human rights activist

Renovations a week later.

Well it has been an eventful week to say the least.

The plumber was in and hooked up the plumbing in the bathroom.  Not knowing the water was turned back on, I was awakened at 4:00 in the morning with the sound of spurting water and it was not the rain outside.  I searched around the basement for the shutoff valve and was able to stop the flood going into the dining room, cleaned up the water and assessed the damage.  Thankfully I was at home that night, or there would have been massive damages to the dining room.

I had to sleep away from the house one night because the stairs were being replaced and there was a huge hole where the stairs used to be.

I was woken up very early one morning by the drywall guy coming into the house, not realizing there was someone home and the alarm was on.  All I can say is I am glad I wear pajamas.  When he came back two days later at least he knocked and I am still glad I wear pajamas.

I have to admit, I finally had a breakdown this morning.  After handling the disarray for six weeks, I finally had enough this morning and cried.  I am sure it happens to everyone. Another day of no progress, another day of no toilet in the bathroom but a toilet in a box in my dining room and I have had enough.  I am at the point where I just want the whole thing over with.  As I write this the pain and frustration has been fading a bit, but a sense of exhaustion is lingering.

Wisdom Jar Week 11

This week I have quotes from the "little book of calm" by Paul Wilson.  If anyone has seen the BBC series Black Books than you will know that these are very funny.  Take them howevery you want though.  The other half are from fortune cookies, some are evil, some are funny and some make you stop and think.  I am really having fin finding all of the quotes and little tidbits that are going into making up this list.

1. Concentrate on silence. When it comes, dwell on what it sounds like. Then strive to carry that quiet with you wherever you go. Paul Wilson
2. invest in a fruit bowl. the more beautiful your fruit bowl, the better stocked it is, the sell likely you are to turn to stress-enhancing snack foods.Paul Wilson
3. Admit you feel calm.  If you want to trick your subconscious into helping you feel calm, simply repeat: “Every moment I feel calmer and calmer.” Paul Wilson
4. pretend you're human. Leave it to others to be perfect, to be wonderful.  Be content with what you are - you’ll be much more relaxed as a result. Paul Wilson
5. Think Calm. have calm thoughts, Picture calm scenes, recall calm sounds.  And guess what you’ll be feeling... Paul Wilson
6. Stimulate with intent. Recognise that there is a time for stimulation and a time for calm.  This means never trying to fool yourself that a stimulant can help you to relax.Paul Wilson
7. Wear donald duck underpants.  choose a few child like accouterments to remind you of the irreverent, uninhibited, joyous side of life. Paul Wilson
8. Pretend it’s Saturday Paul Wilson
9. make friends with a masseur, or a beauty therapist. Paul Wilson
10. Expect nothing, but know that great things lie ahead for you” Paul Wilson
11. The most important skill in staying calm is not to lose sleep over small issues. The second most important skill is to be able to view all issues as small issues. Paul Wilson
12. Declare today a holiday -- imagine every day is a holiday. Do one little thing that stimulates this holiday mood each day, then watch your worries fade away. Paul Wilson
13. be positive about being positive.  Work on having positive thoughts, pay attention to speaking positive works then let the resultant positive feelings take care of everything else.Paul Wilson
14. You like the color green - fortune cookie saying
15. It is not wise to throw stones at tigers- fortune cookie saying
16. Blue eyes are about to change the course of your life- fortune cookie saying
17. "Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment." - fortune cookie saying
18. "Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom - fortune cookie saying
19. Good sense is the master of human life." - fortune cookie saying
20. "You are free to invent your life. - fortune cookie saying
21. "Your smile will tell you what makes you feel good." - fortune cookie saying
22. May the pork-fried rice you just ate not give you abdominal cramps or diarrhea. - fortune cookie saying
23. You've been served... - fortune cookie saying
24. Don't lose face! Insist on buying dinner for your tablemates. - fortune cookie saying
25. Excitement and intrigue follow you closely wherever you go! - fortune cookie saying
26. He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. - fortune cookie saying